a journey in three tablets
by azly rahman
Tablet I
"Ujud satu Ujud
Di lebur sifat Nafsiah .."
said the wise man
in paving the way for this long journey to begin
in silence in solitude
in the service of oneself
in the service of others in need
and so that is the journey as it means
as second Odyssey of a life made supreme
"ujud satu ujud .. di lebur sifat nafsiah"
as words of the man rings again in the ears of this arjuna
in his second Odyssey across the seven minds
from his abode of Love
to the end of his Destiny
where no soul knows where one should end up in
"There is only one existence in you
And that within you is bathed in the Grace of Desire"
as Arjuna have understood it evolvingly
how then must his journey begin?
From the Source of immense mystery
only him and only he and the Innermost being shall ever agree
that there is no boundary between this and that
and between what is real and what shall be Reality
Such a long journey this man has chosen to embark upon
through all the joys and misery
yet the Logos within still sings praise of his being in its entirety
where art thou Al Mustafa he asked,
one who ought to be his guide in this journey of a lifetime
accompanied with two faithfuls: Memory and Sensibility
Exist one must
with Desire one is blessed with
A simple philosophy, Arjuna thought
Until at his deathbed he asked a question
None could make sense of what it should mean to be
And as in blind poet Homer's telling of the story
The song of the sirens of this Odyssey too
pierced into Arjuna's soul
ripping apart every single cell of the body
a grand explosion of joys and anger in one
in smithereens every moment of consciousness
all in the name of
Existence
that one and only Existence
in Desire and Eternal Flame one is bathed in
and where should I now go ...?
Arjuna asked ..
a grand illusion this might turn out to be
Tablet II
you are born into this world
alone and in your aloneness
you may find loneliness a joy
and aloneness a suffering, the Man said to arjuna
what is Real and what is Not
is in your mind
no knowledge is so secret except one you craft
for your own understanding of who you are
and what you shall become
and how you want your life to become
you are a Book of Signs
to be read daily
only by yourself only
as daily as karma shall decree
you are words and words and verses and verses aplenty
so mystified till the meaning is lost
so revered till the essence is gone
so guarded until the words becomes mere rituals of spoken nonsense
said the Man to Arjuna
show be where Truth lies in you, said the Man
show me what your Al Mustafa and Al Mahdi hath shown thee
said the Man as his eyes looked into the warrior's, now bewildered
Tablet III
and in his deep reverie, the Chosen one
heard these words spoken into his soul
like the sirens of Homer's Odyssey::
love thyself
love thine enemies
a hundred battles
a hundred memories
were they not thine beautiful eyes that i saw?
as bright as Venus could be?
that captured my soul
as i was walking slowly
towards eternity?
were those thine lips as sweet
as memory red
as the sweetest strawberry
as though heaven-sent
for my lips and eyes
that are mine only?
carved like the open shore they are
a tempestuous wave
of a night of rage
thine lips smiled a thousand whiles
shifting sands
weeping are mine
yearning for yours
as the calmness of the night
to ease things entire ...
beauty is a loss of words no longer
i see beyond this
no sound nor fury shall prevail
for thine eyes hath pierced the many worlds entire
each teardrop thine shed
of a memory we once shared
becomes a drop in the ocean of mercy
only sages and sadhus and siddharthas
would cry to sleep
yearning for the soul to be free
from this bond
of the longing and the belongingness
have i not seen you before
in a distant memory?
when my soul was not yet in me
when my spirit is but a form none can see?
have i not met you
in that lone dark street
that face i yearn to see
to feel
to touch
in no haste?
of immense beauty you are
larger than any Universe i have seen
what form you are?
wherein do you reside?
why have you cometh to haunt me?
from here till eternity?
release me
from this madness
of uresolved hopelessness
i called thine name
from mount ararat
from the ruins of paradise lost
from the snowtops of kilimanjaro
from the ocean floor of my humility
thine love is a weapon
thine gaze is a curse
thine eyes a cage
of endless horizon for my battered soul
whose life is lived for a love forsaken
when madness and melancholy
and the dread of what i live for daily
is all in the circle of the cries
of longingness
for thee i worship
incessantly
show me where your Existence lie
and where your Eternal self resides
tell me why it is hiding from you?
show me where you it is in your self
wherein the spoken Word in you
will never be in disagreement
with the Eternal Logos within
tell me how your Desire is a sea of Love
unto which you are, like John baptized
until which thou are like Jesus a reason to Live
a reason to Love
a reason to Be
and tell me how you are borne One and Only
and that the mysteries of the Universe is all within thee ...
and with these questions, Arjuna began to lose consciousness
as they were too strange yet too familiar
too simple yet too profound
for a soul like him brave as a warrior
and who is this Man ?
Arjuna thought as he sat in deep thought
under the bodhgaya tree ...
HOW SHALL WE CONTINUE THIS JOURNEY?
- ar
